Wrestlemania 29 Prediction: Brock Lesnar vs. HHH (No DQ / If HHH loses, he must retire)

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH (No DQ / If HHH loses, he must retire)

                There are two fairly obvious sides to this coin.   You can either take the “HHH will lose so he can go behind the scenes” side or the “HHH can’t lose because he still has enough good matches left in him to not retire”.    Either way, you end up at the same point and that is the mere fact that even if Brock Lesnar does win this match and put HHH in retirement… Well, I mean, HHH put Mick Foley in retirement once.    Shawn Michaels retired Ric Flair, who still wrestles.    So the real question for this match is whether or not you actually believe that HHH will stay retired. 

                Once upon a time, HHH challenged The Undertaker at Wrestlemania and hoped to beat him—twice.   HHH lost both times and after the second time, he came out on Raw and gave this speech that seemed like he was retiring and no one really seemed to care about it.    Adding this stipulation feels like a way to clarify that, yes, this will actually be HHH’s last match.  Why?  Well, let me tell you why.

                Brock Lesnar has had two matches since being back in WWE: Against HHH and John Cena.   He has lost them both.  If he loses this match it means he has come back to WWE to lose three matches in a row.  Kind of makes his character look weak in the grand scheme of things.  

                I was also thinking up some scenario where Shawn Michaels turned on HHH, cost him the match and then said he put him into retirement “for his own good”, but let’s hope that doesn’t play out because that could get messy with HBK being in retirement for real.

                I also expected that maybe HHH would lose in such a fashion that he’d come back and taunt Brock until he could be let out of retirement.   It’d be kind of like that time John Cena was fired from WWE by Nexus leader Wade Barrett for some reason.   But that also seems like a dumb idea.

                I think these two have to throw everything they can at each other and in the end, Brock Lesnar wins and HHH goes home to run things behind the scenes.   Shawn Michaels still probably has matches left in him, so saying HHH does isn’t really a valid point.   Besides, maybe in five years no one will remember and HHH can come out of retirement and fight again.

                Of course you realize I am joking (Russo Swerve) because there is no way that HHH is missing Wrestlemania 30.   HBK gives Paul Heyman sweet chin music and HHH manages to defeat Brock Lesnar, yes, giving Lesnar his third straight loss.   (Hey, Ryback is in a similar situation.  You never think he’s going to lose, but the dude just keeps on losing)    Why does Lesnar get a third straight loss?  For abruptly leaving WWE and then suing them for a really long time and a large amount of money of course.   Plus, you know, WWE > UFC and all that nonsense as well. 

                After this match, HHH will go back into semi-retirement any way and wait till next year to show his face again, while Brock Lesnar will hopefully (if he stays with WWE) destroy some of the regular roster to prove his dominance once again.   Lesnar vs. Punk?   Maybe.  Lesnar vs. Sheamus?  Lesnar vs. Ryback?  Lesnar vs. Alberto Del Rio?   Lesnar vs. Jack Swagger?   Let’s do it!

My Winner:  HHH, because only The Game can say when it is over.

Wrestlemania 29 Predictions: The Undercard

 [ The Undercard ]

Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) <Champions> vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston (Tag Team Title Match)

                The most interesting factor in this match is perhaps how much gold WWE wants on Dolph Ziggler.  A scenario involving Dolph and Big E winning the tag team titles and then Ziggler cashing in to hold two belts at the same time would be nice.   It’d also be very reminiscent of when Shawn Michaels and Diesel were 2 Dudes with Attitudes. 

                So, really, the biggest question here is how much stock is WWE willing to put into the Big E. Langston character.    If Dolph Ziggler should cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase at Wrestlemania, odds are we’ll see a lot of heel Ziggler matches with Big E. Langston and AJ Lee helping him keep his belt.   This will obviously lead to the eventual face turn by Big E. Langston who not only wants to break out on his own but would like to become World Heavyweight Champion.  Would it be a somewhat long term feud worth investing in?   Not for my money because I’m still not completely sold on the Big E. Langston character.   (He is a far cry from Diesel)   But WWE might be willing to put their money into it because Big E. Langston is a big powerhouse of a man who has helped WWE forget that Ezekiel Jackson still is on their roster.

                Another interesting factor would be if WWE decided that they want to reset the tag team division again.    Having the World Heavyweight and Tag Team Championships, we could see Dolph Ziggler unable to defend the tag titles properly and become stripped of them, which could also plant the seeds for a Big E face turn.    This could result in a much more hyped tag team tournament to declare new tag team champions involving, you know, actual tag teams (The Usos come to mind, but certainly WWE could also call up some wrestlers and bring them in as tag teams… Oh, and there’s Primo and Epico too)

My Winners:  Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston capture the gold leaving Daniel Bryan and Kane to go their separate ways.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

                Does this match even matter?  I mean, is Ryback still as popular as he once was?  Especially with all of his recent losses.    This could be the Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg match of the card only afterwards both men have to stay and face what they did. 

                Ryback needs a win to get his career back on track, but Mark Henry just returned and probably didn’t do so to lose at Wrestlemania.  My guess is these two men trade muscle blows with one another until eventually they both just learn neither is stronger and can be beaten.   This results in a brawl that comes down to either Mark Henry being disqualified or just your good old fashioned count out/no contest.   Because realistically Mark Henry does not need the win to continue to generate heat (or cheers) and look like a bad ass.

My Winner: Ryback by DQ or nobody, but probably nobody.

The Shield vs. Big Show, Sheamus and Randy Orton

                The only reason why this match really interests me is because it’ll be nice to see Dean Ambrose (fka Jon Moxley) at Wrestlemania.    I’d say this match could end with a feel good moment and someone picking up the victory, like say Sheamus picks up the pinfall over Seth Rollins and then when Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose attack Sheamus and Orton, Big Show walks out on them, but that’s just the problem with a feel good moment for the face side.   Big Show isn’t a face, so will the crowd cheer him after all of the bad things he’s done recently like… I don’t remember what. 

                No one ever really thinks The Shield will win clean but they somehow always do, so I know if I predict that this will be the time it changes.  But why not, it’s Wrestlemania, so I’ll just go with it.   The Shield needs to look strong as a faction, the other guys are all seemingly unaffected by losses and can have some dispute which leads to them losing.  

                Also, if you read my scenario where Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston win the tag team titles only to be stripped of them and a tournament set into place, I vote for The Shield to carry the tag team division into 2014 Fabulous Freebirds style.

My Winners: The Shield

Brodus Clay and Tensai w/ women vs. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes w/ Bella Twins

                This seems to be a filler match.   Well, it really just seems to be an unannounced match only WWE is actually announcing it for Wrestlemania to brag about a stacked card.    It doesn’t really matter who wins, especially since Rhodes Scholars were disbanded as a tag team months ago.    It’s also nice to see Matt Bloom back in WWE to partake in this nonsense.   Imagine what a tag team Brodus Clay and Tensai could be if they were booked more like 2 Cold Scorpio and less like Flash Funk.   They could just be huge monsters; dominating a division WWE sometimes seems interested in reigniting. 

                If WWE wanted to really sell my interest in this pay-per-view, I would hope for Clay and Tensai to lose the match for some reason, then turn heel afterwards and just lay out their opponents with injuries.    But I don’t think WWE sees this as anything more than a throwaway match to distract us from the actual main event level matches on the card.   This will probably come between something like Cena vs. Rock and ‘Taker vs. Punk, you know, to keep the crowd happy but also to help them focus more on the entertainment rather than the wrestling.

My Winners:  Brodus Clay & Tensai (Yes, The Bellas just came back to lose)

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

                I’d go into a long prediction about this match, but I have a feeling that since Chris Jericho will be going away following Wrestlemania, we’ll see Fandango somehow pull out the win here, probably by cheating.   Then we can all look forward to Fandango bragging for the next however many months it takes Jericho to come back that he beat Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania. 

My Winner:  Fandango because Jericho is going on tour

Wade Barrett <Champion> vs. The Miz (IC Title Match)

                If my memory serves correctly, wasn’t The Miz feuding with Antonio Cesaro for the U.S. Title?   So let’s take a heel that was once the hottest heel in the company but no one seems to care enough about now to boo and put him against another man who was once the hottest heel in the company and, well, for some reason is now a face and nobody seems to care either way.    I’m guessing this match will be mere filler, so it doesn’t matter who wins.    There is really only one positive outcome from this match, unfortunately, and that is to have Wade Barrett win and retain the IC Title.  Why?  Well, because Barrett could be in line for a World Heavyweight Title shot and seeing Champion vs. Champion sounds cool to me.   Now let’s just hope WWE can do something with Wade Barrett to get him over as a heel.   Declaring The Miz the world’s greatest wrestler might be a good place to start to get heavily booed.

My Winner:  Wade Barrett because he’s got the Barrett Barrage and what does Miz really have anymore?