WWE Night of Champions 2013 Predictions "Everyone Gets a Title Day!"

\                On a night when we are reminded that WWE has too many championships, it’s interesting to note some of the expected names not on the card.  John Cena is injured, as is Mark Henry.  Sheamus is still out with his injury.  Cody Rhodes is storyline fired.   Big Show is a background character now, but hey, Santino returned on Raw, so we have that to look forward to… or something.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan (WWE Championship Match)

                This is booked as the main event with all of the HHH drama going on, but it’s the easiest match on the card to predict.   Randy Orton will somehow retain and Daniel Bryan will continue the chase.   For all we know, Daniel Bryan could have to earn his Wrestlemania match by winning the Royal Rumble, and thus he becomes champion at Wrestlemania.  I normally don’t think that WWE books that far ahead, but why not this time?

                Obvious choice: Randy Orton retains, the kid stays in the picture.

Alberto Del Rio (Champion) vs. Rob Van Dam (World Heavyweight Championship Match)

                I really love the message that WWE sends by having challengers get title shots based on… managers?   Wasn’t Rob Van Dam in a MITB match that he lost?  Yet somehow he now deserves a title shot because he somehow stole ADR’s manager?   Whatever, I’ll never be able to explain WWE’s logic.

                As with all matches, this can go one of two ways.  One man wins, the other loses.   Should RVD lose, it really doesn’t do anything to hurt his character because he’s still RVD.  Should ADR lose, well, he’s lost enough that it doesn’t really seem like it’d bother his career too much either.

                At this point, it seems like the WHC is in a game of hot potato.   Whoever holds it must do something pretty awful because no one seems to really want it.   Oh, and then there’s Damien Sandow with the briefcase yet he’s on a losing streak. 

                The MITB briefcase is still a good hook for Sandow, so I don’t see him cashing in tonight.   I’d say that we have to wait for Cody Rhodes to return before we see Sandow as champion so we can have that Sandow/Rhodes blow off feud. 

                That means one of R-Rod’s men will be champion at the end of the night still.    If RVD loses, he’ll probably go back to doing whatever he was doing after he lost MITB.   If ADR wins, hopefully he’ll take R-Rod back so we can put an end to that awkwardness.

                Obvious choice:  Alberto Del Rio retains when Ricardo Rodriguez turns on Rob Van Dam and goes back into the arms of ADR.    Then we wait for that ADR/Dolph Ziggler match where Ziggler finally becomes a meaningful champion.

C.M. Punk vs. Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman (If C.M. Punk beats Curtis Axel, he gets Paul Heyman one on one)

                First off, the Intercontinental Champion is not defending his title on Night of Champions.  Seems just wrong somehow.  

                As much as I would like for this Paul Heyman drama to be over with, it does not end tonight.   We will have a Paul Heyman in a cage suspended above the ring match before this feud can end.

                So how does WWE book this?  Well, C.M. Punk beats Curtis Axel because this new gimmick is just not playing out the way it should.   C.M. Punk is then entitled to get his hands on Paul Heyman, as the stipulation points out, but before Punk can get to Paul E, we meet the new Heyman Guy: Matt Morgan.

                With Brock Lesnar out of the picture for a bit, Paul Heyman needs a new monster.  Heyman can say Axel couldn’t get the job done and fire him as a client.   This can leave Axel either as a babyface, as an IC Champion in that magical land Kofi Kingston lives in or written off and then repackaged/released.  

                Then we can expect at least another month or so of Punk vs. Heyman, only with Matt Morgan as the new monster.   Hey, some wins over C.M. Punk should give Matt Morgan a reason to challenge for the title eventually, and John Cena vs. Matt Morgan seems inevitable, so let’s go with it.

                Obvious choice:  C.M. Punk wins the battle, but the war is far from over.

A.J. Lee (Champion) vs. Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi (Diva’s Championship Match)

                Here’s what I know/care about the participants in this match.   One of them is half of the Funkadactyls.  One is half of the Bella Twins.  One is the only female wrestler WWE has left.  And the final one is the only one in this match not on a reality series.

                If Natalya wins this match, it would be the best choice because she can actually wrestle.  It also might help with the whole “Total Divas” thing, should that get a second season, though based on ratings right now it probably won’t.

                I’m not sure which Bella twin dates who, but wouldn’t it be cool if Brie was dating Daniel Bryan and they both won gold on the same night?   Yeah, WWE probably wouldn’t do it anyway.

                Obvious choice:  A.J. Lee wins and the Diva’s division continues to float around aimlessly ala Chris Benoit before he went all crazy.

The Shield (Champions) vs. Tag Team Turmoil Winners (Tag Team Championship Match)

                On the pre-show there will be a tag team turmoil match featuring The Usos, Prime Time Players, 3MB, Tons of Funk and the Real Americans.   3MB and Tons of Funk are just jobbers at this point, so they should just be happy to be on the (pre)show.   Real Americans need a gimmick change, i.e. to spotlight Antonio Cesaro more without him being whatever his character is now.

                That really brings this match down to the Uso Brothers and Prime Time Players.   I most recently remember the Usos having a title shot, so let’s say they don’t get it because another Shield/Usos match isn’t that intriguing (at least this month).   So that leaves the PTP by default.

                Either by DQ or clean, the Shield will be victorious in this match because, well, they are the Shield.   PTP will have to fend off four other teams just to get to this match, so that can be the story they tell in the actual match.  Maybe if it was a straight up PTP vs. Shield match, PTP could win, and so we’ll go with that for some time down the line.

                Obvious choice:  Shield wins because BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD. 

[Update] And following Smack Down, Dean Ambrose (Champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler for the United States Championship has been added to the card.   If you think for one second that The Shield is losing any gold tonight then you have not been watching WWE long enough.