WWE's Tender Lovin' Care Predictions 2013

                It’s that time of the year when WWE likes to remind us that Left Eye is dead.   If you’re thinking this seems like a throwaway pay-per-view before the New Year begins (And the road to Wrestlemania), then you’re probably right.

                Although Alberto Del Rio is being evaluated for a concussion, I still wouldn’t be surprised to see Sin Cara (aka Hunico) on this card somehow.   I also wouldn’t mind seeing the rejuvenated Brodus Clay either. 

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

                This is the pre-show match, so you know it’s going to be Miz/Kofi levels of greatness.   At one point in time, both of these guys were heels that fans cheered so they kind of became faces and now who knows what they are other than buried.

                It really feels like this should be an awesome IC Title level ladder match instead of just pre-show fodder, but sadly that is the state of WWE right now.   Dolph Ziggler needs to move back up the ranks more than Fandango since the latter really just needs a gimmick overhaul (Less dance, more wrestle)

Winner: Dolph Ziggler, to send us into the show happy

AJ Lee (Champion) vs. Natalya (Diva’s Championship Match)

                If there is any justice in the world, Natalya will win the title and have a good run as champ until Wrestlemania against a returning Trish Stratus, Awesome Kong (Kharma) or Beth Phoenix.   But knowing WWE, AJ Lee will keep the title somehow and then the women (or at least her, as champ) won’t even make the Wrestlemania card.

Winner: Natalya, not that it will affect the ratings for Total Divas

Goldust & Cody Rhodes (Champions) vs. The Real Americans vs. Curtis Axel & Ryback vs. Big Show & Rey Mysterio (Tag Team Championship Match)

                What interests me most about this match is the fact that WWE has four tag teams here, yet there are even more tag teams out there not being used.   The Shield and Wyatt Family are both in handicapped matches, Prime Time Players, The Usos, 3MB, Tons of Funk (if they instead of breaking up stay together as monster heels) and even that pairing of Xavier Woods and R-Truth round out what seems to be the best the division has seen in quite some time.    (Also, don’t forget Hunico and Camacho, when Hunico isn’t playing Sin Cara)

                If Cody Rhodes and Goldust are going to have a match at WMXXX (and why not), then it should start now with them losing the tag titles, followed by dissension in the Rumble match itself.   That means that they need to lose the tag titles here, even if through no fault of their own.   So let’s break down the competition.

                I have no idea why Big Show and Rey Mysterio are a tag team, other than having memories of Rey Rey being stuck to a stretcher and Big Show slamming him into a ring post.  If this is setting the stage for a Big Show-Rey match at WMXXX, then there is no hope for either man here.

                I actually do hope that Curtis Axel and Ryback have a match at WMXXX… on the pre-show.  So with the makeshift tag teams out of the way, that leaves only The Real Americans as a viable option to the win titles and rightfully so.

Winners: The Real Americans, because Jack Swagger is a former World Champion dammit!

Big E Langston (Champion) vs. Damien Sandow (Intercontinental Title Match)

                On one hand, I remember when Big E was bodyguard to Dolph Ziggler and then Sandow and Ziggler had a series of match for some reason.   Unless Big E is going to get the true Diesel treatment and win the 2014 Royal Rumble match, I don’t see him dropping the IC title yet.

                Additionally, Damien Sandow has proven time and time again that he can still look good while losing.    I see no need for a title change here, but hopefully Damien Sandow can get a good match out of Dolph’s former bodyguard. 

Winner: Big E Langston, because WWE likes it big.

C.M. Punk // Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield // The Wyatt Family (3 on 1 Match)

                I’m actually previewing these together because they are both 3 on 1 matches and so they share that same quality and a lot to be done with the predictions.  On one hand, if either Bryan or Punk should lose, no one is going to blame them for not being able to overcome the odds. 

                In a similar yet flipped idea, for either team of The Shield or The Wyatts to lose would be kind of odd because why can’t even the tag team versions of those factions beat one wrestler?  

                The whole deal is highly illogical on paper and could make for some excellent wrestling, though it doesn’t stand that either man will gain anything here.   (The factions in winning  or even the singles competitors by winning)

                More damage will be done to the Wyatts and Shield if they lose than good will be done to Bryan or Punk, and should either man or both lose… Well, really, this just feels a lot like no matter who wins or loses it doesn’t matter.

                I just want to see Punk wrestle Ambrose and Rollins.   Let’s hope 2014 is the year that Dean Ambrose wins the MITB and cashes in successfully.

                While it doesn’t really matter who wins or loses, I’m still going to say that Bryan succumbs to the odds and loses (Only to bounce back with a Royal Rumble win ala Shawn Michaels, entering at #1) and Punk will probably win due to The Shield having some sort of argument. 

Winners: C.M. Punk and The Wyatt Family

Randy Orton (WWE Champion) vs. John Cena (World Heavyweight Champion) (Title Unification Match)

                So here’s the thing.   WWE has been pretty shitty all year and they have their problems, especially with delivering on promises, so now it’s time for them to step up.   This match can be as much of a mess as it needs to be—overbook it, I could really care less.   The only thing that needs to be accomplished is that Randy Orton needs to come out the winner and Undisputed Champion.

                Why?   Because we need a heel going into Wrestlemania XXX.   Because we need a foe for Daniel Bryan and their feud sort of got put on the backburner so let’s bring it back.   Because John Cena will hopefully find some other way to spend WMXXX.

                Yes, I fully expect Daniel Bryan to be “punished” and forced to enter the Royal Rumble at spot #1.  This would lead to a D-Bry win ala Shawn Michaels, who then sides with Bryan over The Authority.   This will set up the face of WWE Randy Orton (w/ HHH, Stephanie and Kane) vs. Daniel Bryan (w/ Shawn Michaels and Jose Lothario) for the title at WMXXX.  

                When Daniel Bryan wins the Undisputed title at WMXXX, he can then feud with John Cena again.  But Cena will have bigger problems, possibly even Brock Lesnar sized problems.   I don’t know, I haven’t worked out Cena’s role at WMXXX yet and I do not want to see a triple threat match.

                But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Winner: Randy Orton because John Cena isn’t friends with HHH

                The next pay-per-view (and first for 2014) is the Royal Rumble and that should be interesting.   The matches aside from a title match and the Rumble itself always seem to be throwaway, so we’ll see John Cena vs. Randy Orton again in some capacity, if only to shift their feud to other people.   (I fully expect Orton to go doing something else while John Cena faces Daniel Bryan at WMXXX)  The Rumble match itself also gives a chance for the real Sin Cara to return as well as Brodus Clay to dump out Tensai.   

A Sort of Means of Survival: WWE Survivor Series 2013 Predictions

                It saddens me deeply that Survivor Series isn’t all elimination matches.  Clearly that card could have been made by combining some of these matches.  It has always been a great opportunity for someone to pin a champion and be seen differently for it.   Imagine if Dean Ambrose pinned John Cena.   But alas, it will not be seen this year.

                Also, I remember one year when an elimination match got bumped to the next night on Raw.  That was kind of funny.

                As of right now, we have six matches scheduled and one of them is on the pre-show.   So for sake of throwing everyone onto the show, I’m going to say we get an added bonus elimination match with:

Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston, Dolph Ziggler, Xavier Woods, R-Truth and The Great Khali vs. Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow and 3MB

                This might seem awkward because Big E and Dolph were once friends as heels, then enemies and now they seem to want to be on the same side again.   Let’s keep this simple if it does happen though.  Big E eliminates 3MB with the help of Khali, but then Curtis Axel gets a cheap pin on Langston, continuing their IC Title program. 

                Sandow and Axel are left to fight in a two on four match up.  Axel works over Ziggler, who eventually makes the hot tag.  The team of Woods and Truth (Truthwood?) proves to be too much and Sandow is eliminated.  

                Curtis Axel falls to the numbers game, leaving everyone on the good side surviving except for Big E. Langston.   They all proceed to dance afterwards, to the joy of no one.   This will hopefully set up Big E Langston into an IC Title program with not only Curtis Axel, but Dolph Ziggler and Damien Sandow as well.   It feels like it’s been too long since we’ve seen a good triple threat or four corners elimination style match for a secondary title.

[Please Note: After I fantasy booked this match, WWE announced an IC Title match between Big E. Langston and Curtis Axel.   Big E isn’t dropping the title this quickly, but let’s say they’re replaced here with Santino on the face side and Fandango on the heel side.]

<The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston>

                This will serve as a pre-show match, but it shouldn’t even really be on the card yet.  The Miz just turned back to a heel on Monday night and is out to prove his turn worthy by taking down his former tag team partner (and I use that term loosely) in Kofi Kingston. 

                Normally, Kingston finds himself on the panel in the pre-show, so whoever he pissed off is probably thinking he should be happy just to be wrestling.   Miz uses cheat tactics and manages to win this one, convincing no one to order the pay-per-view who wasn’t going to order it already.

                Miz really needs to do something big here, and I don’t mean bring back Alex Riley.  Miz needs a big heel move here or else he’s just going to go back to superstars limbo, which I think is most likely going to happen anyway.

Winner: The Miz via shenanigans

< Total Divas vs. Non-Total Divas (7 on 7 elimination match)>

                First off, who knew that WWE had 14 divas on their roster?  They probably have more, because Summer Rae might not be in this match, but I don’t really care who is on either side because this match is on the card for only two reasons.

                Not only will this serve as a way to promote the Total Divas show (which is why that team will inevitably win), but this should be the filler between the two main title matches. 

                With Mickie James being interviewed about a possible return by WWE.com, TNA really needs to re-evaluate their roster of women because I’m not sure if they even have a total of four right now.

                And when is the TNA reality series “Total Knockouts” coming anyway?

Winners: The cast of Total Divas because, you know, they have a reality show to promote

<Goldust, Cody Rhodes, The Usos and Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield and The Real Americans (Survivor Series style elimination match)>

                The do enjoy the idea of putting together these tag teams that have issues, but it feels like Rey Mysterio was only thrown in here because it’s a lot lighter of a workload than, say, a two on two tag match.
 

                As of late, The Shield has been taking some beatings and I think that they need to turn that around in this match.    In fact, having The Shield as a trio in this and The Real Americans as a tag team seems to serve their purposes better than, you know, having Rey Mysterio thrown into the mix at the eleventh hour.

                I’m hoping for a heel win in this one and see maybe only one or both of The Real Americans being eliminated from the winning side.  Using double and triple team tactics, the heels should have no problems pulling this one out and leaving discussion over whether Rollins and Reigns or The Real Americans should get the next tag team title shot.

Winners: The Shield and The Real Americans because BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!

<CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (w/ Bray Wyatt)>

                In one of the more compelling stories (and by that I mean the only really compelling story) in WWE right now, we see two similar men fighting against a somewhat new faction in what just intriguing on so many levels you don’t feel as if WWE could be behind it.

                CM Punk was once on the road back to a WWE Title shot, but then he was sidetracked by Paul Heyman and company, a feud which for now seems to be settled.   Daniel Bryan was most recently WWE Champion before being screwed over by The Authority and Big Show taking his spot for seemingly no reason, but hey, this match will be a lot better than Orton vs. Bryan 8.

                On the other hand, we have the Wyatts who are one of the most interesting aspects of WWE since the debut of The Shield and, yes, I’d still like to see that Shleld-Wyatts feud WWE hinted at recently. 

                In some ways, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are sort of a super tag team, like when Shawn Michaels teamed with Stone Cold, except these two are getting along.   I think this tag team title only helps the tag team division and ultimately all five men involved in it.

                This is the match I look most forward to on this card and it most likely be the best match as well. 

                The question is not where does it go, but rather where do we go from here?   Easily enough, The Wyatts can lose (Even if just by a DQ from outside interference by Bray) because The Wyatts have, oddly enough, lost tag team matches before, though when you think about them you don’t really think of them as losers.  (Much like how Prime Time Players and The Usos have actually won matches, but you don’t think of either of those teams as winners)

                I believe Daniel Bryan will go back into the WWE Title picture after he ends this feud and consequently Big Show ends his mess with Orton.   Big Show could even move into a program with HHH that no one would give two shits about.

                So since WWE likes to mess with Daniel Bryan, let’s say this for right now.  I’m predicting Daniel Bryan to regain the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble next year from Randy Orton (It’s only two pay-per-views away)    Then, I predict CM Punk to win the Royal Rumble match itself.

                This will set up a nice sort of celebration for the following night on Raw for Daniel Bryan, only to be interrupted by CM Punk who chooses to face Bryan at WM30, or as I like to call it WMXXX.

                John Cena can still defend the WHC against Randy Orton or whoever probably wins an Elimination Chamber match, though after the Rumble we can expect Bryan to defend the title in an Elimination Chamber match against Kane, Orton, Big Show and maybe even RVD will be back by then. 

Winners: CM Punk and Daniel Bryan

<John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Match)>

                John Cena returned at the last pay-per-view and won the WHC from ADR.   And then, he also successfully defended it when Damien Sandow cashed in his MITB briefcase.   So if you think for one split second that this match has been booked so ADR can win the title back, you’d be wrong.

                I have to see this one going to DQ though, as I don’t see any clear winner being presented here thus furthering the feud.   My biggest problem is that if ADR is challenging John Cena still for the rest of the year, then who will step up and do so?

                Well, who is in contention for the WHC anyway?   The recently returned Rey Mysterio?   No, WWE would be much more likely to book a heel against Cena.   Damien Sandow?  Probably not again yet.    Brock Lesnar or Matt Morgan?  Don’t hold your breath.

                John Cena will probably just float along until Wrestlemania, having no real competition and if anyone can do so, I trust the writers at WWE to have a program between Cena and Del Rio take us all the way until this time next year for no good reason.

Winner: John Cena, but the feud must continue!

<Randy Orton vs. Big Show (WWE Championship Match)>

                In one of the most bizarre turns in WWE history, this feud with Randy Orton being The Authority’s Champion originally started with Daniel Bryan going for the gold and, well, he has yet to really be defeated cleanly by Orton.  

                So Big Show somehow comes into this, like a side project, but manages to take over the lead.   I don’t think that Show will become WWE Champion and I only see his involvement in this as a way to delay the eventual Orton-Bryan match. 

                Between Kane, Stephanie and HHH, I don’t see Big Show being able to overcome the odds and win this one.   Plus, Big Show’s best career moments were ten years ago so there is really no need in putting the belt on him at this point.   This really serves no other purpose than having Randy Orton trying to build credibility by saying he beat a giant, but come on, everyone beats Big Show these days.  Ryback almost beat him!  Ryback!!

                So I assume we see this Randy Orton/Authority storyline play out for the rest of the year with Daniel Bryan, who will eventually have to win the Royal Rumble to get his title shot (maybe) but who knows.   John Cena as WHC vs. Randy Orton as WWE Champion would be the best bet for both of those men at WM30 as of right now, so let’s see if maybe we can somehow get to that instead.

Winner:  Randy Orton because… you know why

WWE Night of Champions 2013 Predictions "Everyone Gets a Title Day!"

\                On a night when we are reminded that WWE has too many championships, it’s interesting to note some of the expected names not on the card.  John Cena is injured, as is Mark Henry.  Sheamus is still out with his injury.  Cody Rhodes is storyline fired.   Big Show is a background character now, but hey, Santino returned on Raw, so we have that to look forward to… or something.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan (WWE Championship Match)

                This is booked as the main event with all of the HHH drama going on, but it’s the easiest match on the card to predict.   Randy Orton will somehow retain and Daniel Bryan will continue the chase.   For all we know, Daniel Bryan could have to earn his Wrestlemania match by winning the Royal Rumble, and thus he becomes champion at Wrestlemania.  I normally don’t think that WWE books that far ahead, but why not this time?

                Obvious choice: Randy Orton retains, the kid stays in the picture.

Alberto Del Rio (Champion) vs. Rob Van Dam (World Heavyweight Championship Match)

                I really love the message that WWE sends by having challengers get title shots based on… managers?   Wasn’t Rob Van Dam in a MITB match that he lost?  Yet somehow he now deserves a title shot because he somehow stole ADR’s manager?   Whatever, I’ll never be able to explain WWE’s logic.

                As with all matches, this can go one of two ways.  One man wins, the other loses.   Should RVD lose, it really doesn’t do anything to hurt his character because he’s still RVD.  Should ADR lose, well, he’s lost enough that it doesn’t really seem like it’d bother his career too much either.

                At this point, it seems like the WHC is in a game of hot potato.   Whoever holds it must do something pretty awful because no one seems to really want it.   Oh, and then there’s Damien Sandow with the briefcase yet he’s on a losing streak. 

                The MITB briefcase is still a good hook for Sandow, so I don’t see him cashing in tonight.   I’d say that we have to wait for Cody Rhodes to return before we see Sandow as champion so we can have that Sandow/Rhodes blow off feud. 

                That means one of R-Rod’s men will be champion at the end of the night still.    If RVD loses, he’ll probably go back to doing whatever he was doing after he lost MITB.   If ADR wins, hopefully he’ll take R-Rod back so we can put an end to that awkwardness.

                Obvious choice:  Alberto Del Rio retains when Ricardo Rodriguez turns on Rob Van Dam and goes back into the arms of ADR.    Then we wait for that ADR/Dolph Ziggler match where Ziggler finally becomes a meaningful champion.

C.M. Punk vs. Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman (If C.M. Punk beats Curtis Axel, he gets Paul Heyman one on one)

                First off, the Intercontinental Champion is not defending his title on Night of Champions.  Seems just wrong somehow.  

                As much as I would like for this Paul Heyman drama to be over with, it does not end tonight.   We will have a Paul Heyman in a cage suspended above the ring match before this feud can end.

                So how does WWE book this?  Well, C.M. Punk beats Curtis Axel because this new gimmick is just not playing out the way it should.   C.M. Punk is then entitled to get his hands on Paul Heyman, as the stipulation points out, but before Punk can get to Paul E, we meet the new Heyman Guy: Matt Morgan.

                With Brock Lesnar out of the picture for a bit, Paul Heyman needs a new monster.  Heyman can say Axel couldn’t get the job done and fire him as a client.   This can leave Axel either as a babyface, as an IC Champion in that magical land Kofi Kingston lives in or written off and then repackaged/released.  

                Then we can expect at least another month or so of Punk vs. Heyman, only with Matt Morgan as the new monster.   Hey, some wins over C.M. Punk should give Matt Morgan a reason to challenge for the title eventually, and John Cena vs. Matt Morgan seems inevitable, so let’s go with it.

                Obvious choice:  C.M. Punk wins the battle, but the war is far from over.

A.J. Lee (Champion) vs. Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi (Diva’s Championship Match)

                Here’s what I know/care about the participants in this match.   One of them is half of the Funkadactyls.  One is half of the Bella Twins.  One is the only female wrestler WWE has left.  And the final one is the only one in this match not on a reality series.

                If Natalya wins this match, it would be the best choice because she can actually wrestle.  It also might help with the whole “Total Divas” thing, should that get a second season, though based on ratings right now it probably won’t.

                I’m not sure which Bella twin dates who, but wouldn’t it be cool if Brie was dating Daniel Bryan and they both won gold on the same night?   Yeah, WWE probably wouldn’t do it anyway.

                Obvious choice:  A.J. Lee wins and the Diva’s division continues to float around aimlessly ala Chris Benoit before he went all crazy.

The Shield (Champions) vs. Tag Team Turmoil Winners (Tag Team Championship Match)

                On the pre-show there will be a tag team turmoil match featuring The Usos, Prime Time Players, 3MB, Tons of Funk and the Real Americans.   3MB and Tons of Funk are just jobbers at this point, so they should just be happy to be on the (pre)show.   Real Americans need a gimmick change, i.e. to spotlight Antonio Cesaro more without him being whatever his character is now.

                That really brings this match down to the Uso Brothers and Prime Time Players.   I most recently remember the Usos having a title shot, so let’s say they don’t get it because another Shield/Usos match isn’t that intriguing (at least this month).   So that leaves the PTP by default.

                Either by DQ or clean, the Shield will be victorious in this match because, well, they are the Shield.   PTP will have to fend off four other teams just to get to this match, so that can be the story they tell in the actual match.  Maybe if it was a straight up PTP vs. Shield match, PTP could win, and so we’ll go with that for some time down the line.

                Obvious choice:  Shield wins because BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD. 

[Update] And following Smack Down, Dean Ambrose (Champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler for the United States Championship has been added to the card.   If you think for one second that The Shield is losing any gold tonight then you have not been watching WWE long enough.

Sorry About Your Damn Head [Image]

[WWE SummerSlam 2013 Prediction] The Rest of the Card

Dean Ambrose (U.S. Champion) vs. Rob Van Dam (U.S. Title Match)

                First off, this could have been such a great match if they had better build up than RVD winning a battle royal.   Or at least if they had the buildup go on a little bit longer.   Dean Ambrose could have complained about RVD’s hardcore style much like he did with Mick Foley before the Shield’s debut. 

                Nevertheless, I can see this match going only one way and that is Dean Ambrose retaining.   Why does RVD need the U.S. Title at this point in his career anyway?   Shouldn’t RVD be challenging for one of the big two titles?   I really don’t like when WWE has main event guys, former champions, going for lesser gold because it just makes it feel like… Why do they need it?

                In RVD’s last run with WWE, he won the IC Title for the “I don’t know what number time”, according to him, so hey, does he really need what is probably only superior to the Diva’s Title?  (Sorry Cesaro)

                There are also rumors of a Big Show & Mark Henry vs. The Shield for the Tag Team Titles match, and at this point I could see them having Roman “Luther” Reigns and Seth “Henry” Rollins interfere in this match, setting up a six man tag for the PPV.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

                This is Bray Wyatt’s first match in WWE… at least as Bray Wyatt.   He’s got two big guys by his side and Kane stands alone.   This is a no brainer and will play out as simply as it seems.   Bray Wyatt defeats Kane, the big red monster takes some time off and comes back fresh sometime down the line.

Dolph Ziggler & Kaitlyn vs. Big E Langston & AJ Lee

                So Dolph and Big E did the HBK-Diesel split, only AJ was in the middle and so now Kaitlyn, who is feuding with AJ, gets dragged into it as well.   Does anyone other than me wish this would all just end?   Dolph needs to defeat Big E, and then this mess all goes it separate ways, which in a lot of ways seems to be the theme of Summerslam.

                I don’t even care about the women’s tag match.

[WWE SummerSlam 2013 Prediction] John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

John Cena (WWE Champion) vs. Daniel Bryan (WWE Championship Match, special guest referee HHH)

                Once again, common sense and good wrestling have been thrown out the window in favor of the McMahon Family wanting to have some drama that may never even play out into anything bigger. 

                Weren’t the exchanges between Cena and Bryan enough to make this feud?  You have two guys on the opposite ends of the ring, one the stereotypical looking WWE cookie cutter champion guy who has five moves and the other the independent wrestling scene/IWC hero who may not be built like Hulk Hogan but boy can he go.

                I truly feel that if the McMahons are involved in this, it is for a higher reason and so I fully expect a swerve coming here.

                HHH appointed himself the special guest referee seemingly against Vince McMahon’s orders as McMahon wanted Brad Maddox to be referee.    So it seems too obvious for HHH to turn, as if it was the plan all along to have Vince, Stephanie and HHH all on the same page, right?  

                Then again, this whole “You’re not good enough to be Champion” thing probably should’ve happened after D-Bry won the title.

                So let’s say Daniel Bryan somehow has John Cena pinned or tapping out, HHH looks the other way, eventually rules in favor of John Cena and then Cena doesn’t like it (Because Cena won't become Vince's pet, at least not on screen-- too heelish).    Will this lead to HHH ultimately fighting Daniel Bryan?   Well, Bryan is on the CM Punk path to the title and it just doesn’t come this easily this time.

                And the lingering question:  Does Randy Orton cash in his MITB briefcase tonight?   Predictions of Daniel Bryan winning the title only to be bested by Randy Orton, who then becomes the Corporate Cyborg, make for an interesting story but I kind of like my idea better.   Plus, Daniel Bryan should hold the WWE Title for longer than Dolph Ziggler held the WHC.  

[WWE SummerSlam 2013 Prediction] Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) vs. CM Punk

                Look… I’m going to be real and break this match down for you quite simply.  It doesn’t need a lot of build or back stats, all you need to know is that Brock Lesnar is on a part time basis in WWE.  Since returning, he has lost matches to HHH and John Cena.   Why should this match be any different?

                CM Punk might be a lot smaller than Brock Lesnar, but who cares?  Watch old UFC videos and find Royce Gracie.   That’s what this match could be like.

                I really feel like WWE has brought back Lesnar because it’s good for business and having him lose just kind of shows you that the scripted violence is superior to the actual violence.   How great do you think Vince McMahon felt seeing WWE Champion John Cena defeat (former) UFC Champion Brock Lesnar?   If that wasn’t a sign of “WWE > UFC”, then I don’t know what is. 

                CM Punk has had a rough year.  He lost his Wrestlemania match with The Undertaker and just seems to have gone downhill from there, now separating himself from Paul Heyman.   I see Summerslam as being the start of Punk’s career getting back on track.

                So the real question is, where does Brock Lesnar go from here?   He takes a couple of months off, as per his agreement, comes back fresh, people forget he lost to everyone so far and he attacks his next opponent.   Could it be The Undertaker?   I don’t see many other options at this point.    Well, a Randy Orton-Brock Lesnar match might be nice.

[WWE SummerSlam 2013 Prediction] Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

                There is no established heel or face in this match.   What’s funny is that, both of these guys are heels right now.   Damien Sandow is carrying on like normal, and he’s always been booked as a heel.  Cody Rhodes, despite splitting up with and being mad at Sandow, has still done some heelish things, or at least nothing to make him seem like a face.

                I do believe that the whole idea of Cody Rhodes being upset at Damien Sandow over the “every man for himself” MITB ladder match just seems like sour grapes.   Now, if Sandow wasn’t in the match and came out and cost Rhodes the match he’d have more grounds to stand on.  But throwing the MITB briefcase in water doesn’t make Cody Rhodes look any better than someone whining and crying when they don’t get their way.

                So aside from breaking up Rhodes Scholars and giving Damien Sandow something to do until he cashes in, does this feud have a point?   I would assume when it’s over that Cody Rhodes is still going to be a heel, as nothing can really pull him out of his slump right now.   It also wouldn’t surprise me to see Rhodes Scholars reunited yet again, but let’s hope not.

                The one fairly crazy scenario I’d like to see play out is going to be my prediction for this match, just because aside from this happening the match won’t really matter.

                I’d like to see the WHC match go on first (It could happen anyway) which would lead to a Christian win somehow.  But before Christian can celebrate his hard fought victory, Damien Sandow cashes in.   Vickie Guerrero (the new Smack Down GM… again) reminds Sandow of his match with Cody Rhodes for later on and informs him that it is now for the WHC. 

                Cody Rhodes would win this match in that storyline, giving him the WHC, and having Damien Sandow, Christian and ADR all with cause to chase the title and seek a rematch.    This would involve the title changing hands thrice in the same night, but hey, it’s almost got less value than the IC Title any way, so I could see WWE doing it.  

                Do I honestly believe Damien Sandow will cash in at Summerslam?  No.   But I do like this idea playing out, so I’m sticking with Cody Rhodes winning and leaving the night as your new World Heavyweight Champion.  

[WWE SummerSlam 2013 Prediction] Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Christian *World Heavyweight Championship Match*

                Clearly I cannot be the only one who remembers when Alberto Del Rio previously won the WHC from Edge, only because Edge was forced into retirement by injuries, and then Christian held the WHC for about a day before turning heel and complaining about it.

                WWE Creative might be hoping that I am among the minority who remember what happened before last year or what they want us to remember.    So it would seem like a rather cheap move, yet still something that WWE would do, to put the title on Christian at Summerslam, then have him lose it the following night (or Tuesday for the Smack Down tapings) via Damien Sandow cashing in the MITB briefcase.  

                I honestly don’t think that WWE would be that… uncreative, but I also don’t put it past them.

                What WWE needs to do here is simple:  Christian needs a heel turn.    ADR is a heel and hopefully will stay one, and it’s unclear whether Cody Rhodes or Damien Sandow will take the face push, but having Christian turn heel wouldn’t really affect any of the balance out there.   Dolph Ziggler is a face now, Big Show could return as a face and even Mark Henry seems to be turning face.

                So yes, the time is now.  Christian needs to turn heel and for him to do that, he needs to lose this match.    Let’s say that interference by Ricardo Rodriguez backfires (Since he and ADR hate each other now or whatever), costing Christian the match.   Del Rio just kind of laughs it off and leaves with the title, while Christian plants Double R with the Unprettier.  Seems easy enough, right?

Hail Sabin!

                It’s the day after Chris Sabin became the TNA Heavyweight Champion of the world and my only question is:  Where does TNA go from here?   Similar to last year with Austin Aries, Sabin got the nod from Hulk Hogan and vanquished the top heel in TNA.   But much like Austin Aries’ title run came to an end via Jeff Hardy winning the Bound For Glory series, will Chris Sabin suffer the same fate?

                While TNA may have questionable booking at best, I want them to know that there are options out there for them, and I’m going to take you right now through a three part program that can make this whole situation not go down the crapper.

                First and foremost, Chris Sabin needs to keep the TNA Title until Slammiversary.   I can take you that far, TNA, but beyond that it’s up to you to figure out where to go.   So who does Sabin defend the belt against at Slammiversary?   Why the winner of the BFG series of course, who will hopefully be Austin Aries. 

                Aries and Sabin are two solid workers, the only two thus far to cash in the X Division Title for the TNA Title shot and, well, they had some drama leading up to the match with the mask and all, so this will make for a most excellent feud and series of matches if portrayed correctly. 

                At this time, the other two factors we need to consider are both Aces & Eights and the Main Event Mafia.   These two factions pretty much take care of each other.   The time for Aces & Eights is through.    They need to break up, but it doesn’t need to be pretty.

                First off, there can be some dissension between Bully Ray and Devon, with Devon noting that he still has gold.    Bully Ray needs to break off though (at least for now) and go feud with Hulk Hogan and Brooke.    Initially, Hulk Hogan could have someone fight on his behalf.   I’m not going to name any names because TNA has a lot of stars they need to build up, but even if Bully Ray was to lose a big match to Hogan’s protégé, Ray could still give the guy a hardcore beat down afterwards, forcing Hogan to step in and finally face Bully Ray to get the divorce and blah blah blah.   Look, I think we all know this is ending with Hulk Hogan getting back in the ring, right?

                So then what is there for the rest of the Aces & Eights members?   For some reason, I feel like Devon and Mr. Anderson should have a decent feud over the TV Title.  I don’t know exactly who else is left after that.  DOC (aka Luke Gallows aka Festus aka whatever his real name is) got released and so did D-Lo Brown.   Does that leave anyone besides Mike Knox and Wes Briscoe?  I feel like it does, but anyway, throw Knox and Briscoe into a tag team and call it a day for Aces and Eights because it has been long enough.

                On the flipside of this, we have the newly reformed Main Event Mafia.   Wouldn’t it be nice if they could just all say that they got back together to get rid of Aces & Eights, they did that, so now they’ll go their separate ways?   Sting can go back into semi-retirement until he is needed to come back out and fight evil once again.   Rampage Jackson isn’t ready to wrestle yet anyway so I have no idea why he’s even in the MEM.   Samoa Joe and Magnus can go back to tag team purgatory, where they might even bump into Mike Knox and Wes Briscoe.   Kurt Angle, well… He can do pretty much whatever he wants because he’s Kurt freaking Angle.

                                This should set up things rather nicely, as a potential Slammiversary card could see Sabin vs. Aries, Devon vs. Anderson, Bully Ray vs. Hogan’s protégé, and then, you know, how hard would it be to come up with something for Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, etc.??   Those guys should be the easiest ones to make matches for since they have so much history.  

Money In The Bank: WHC Ladder Match Predictions (Part 2)

                As I’ve been following WWE throughout this final week leading up to Money In The Bank, I think it is important to note that WWE seems to be hinting at someone cashing in on that very night.   Randy Orton made mention of it, but what a swerve it would be if someone from this MITB ladder match did it.  Think about how perfect it would be:  Dolph Ziggler finally regains the WHC and one of these heels takes it from him.   It’s so good it practically writes itself.

                Now, onto the final three participants and my #1 pick to win this thing.

(3) Cody Rhodes – Despite my opening comments, I think Alberto Del Rio could retain the title in a hard fought match with Dolph Ziggler (Let’s say AJ Lee or Big E costs Ziggler the title shot), Cody Rhodes could come out and take the title from Del Rio to really shake things up.   Cody, while primarily a heel, could become a great fan favorite by crushing Del Rio.   Not to mention the fact that his mustache has given him some credibility amongst the fans.  

                So what would happen if Cody Rhodes were to win the WHC, you ask?   Simple, really.  It’s the match/feud WWE has been building to for the past few years.   Cody Rhodes would acknowledge that he took advantage of Del Rio, but just did what anyone else would do, making him a tweener and not giving him the full out face push.   Then, he’d be reluctant to give a title shot to his deserving buddy and former tag team partner Hardcore Holly… Umm, I mean, DAMIEN SANDOW, and through a series of events on Smack Down!, probably involving Teddy Long and tag team matches, Damien Sandow will challenge Cody Rhodes for the World Heavyweight Championship.   And no matter who wins or who loses, this will be a story for the ages. 

(2) Damien Sandow – Should Damien Sandow win the MITB contract, I could see him cashing in on Dolph Ziggler.   It’s just a matter of intelligence to attack the champion when he is most vulnerable and it’s about time we got a champion who could talk on the mic and draw heat by insulting the crowd.   Sandow has that Rick Rude heat, while people are still not too keen on Alberto Del Rio as a face or heel. 

                Put Damien Sandow in a feud with Dolph Ziggler and you shall sell pay-per-views.   Have Damien Sandow partake in a long term storyline involving him winning the Royal Rumble and being blinded, then this would be even more perfect.

                You see, it’s not that long until the end of the year and we need to start thinking about the Royal Rumble.   Damien Sandow could take the title from Dolph Ziggler this very night, then give him (and possibly even Del Rio) a rematch at Summerslam, then continue a singles feud with Ziggler for a little bit.   Or Damien Sandow could hold the briefcase and wait to cash in until he’s good and ready.  

                When should that be?   Why, after the Royal Rumble of course.  I’d book Sandow to win the Rumble.  The next night on Raw, he announces he will challenge for both the WWE Title via his Royal Rumble victory and WHC via his MITB contract at Wrestlemania 30.   WWE would probably never book that though.

 (1) Dean Ambrose – Dean Ambrose is the biggest player in this match, and yet he also seems to be promoting this match the most in media interviews as well.   Wouldn’t it be something for him to win MITB in his former stomping grounds of Philadelphia?   You have to imagine he’ll have some fans in attendance.

                So what would Dean Ambrose do with the MITB briefcase?   Simple:  Whatever he damn well pleases.   To prove their dominance, Dean Ambrose will become the World Heavyweight Champion and The Shield will become unstoppable in WWE once again.   That is my bold prediction for this pay-per-view.

                Look, whether Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns win or lose, you know they’ll probably be out to help Ambrose.   Or they could at least help him win the title later on.   Either way, you know the title should be coming home to Dean Ambrose because I believe in The Shield and this guy is the future of WWE.  Unfortunately for his opposition, the future is now.

Money In The Bank: WHC Ladder Match Predictions (Part 1)

                The World Heavyweight Championship Money In the Bank ladder match features seven men going for a title that six of them have never held.    I have broken this into two parts, but it is my list from 7 to 1 of who I’d like to see win this match, why and what effects it could have on the wrestling world.

 (7) Jack Swagger – The theme of the World Heavyweight Championship side of the MITB match is “up and comers” and, well, Jack Swagger is anything but an up and comer.  The guy has already won MITB and been World Champion.   He “headlined” Wrestlemania this year against Alberto Del Rio in a losing effort.  So what would giving the briefcase to Jack Swagger really prove?   Nothing.   Swagger is in this match because he is a workhorse and one of the bigger guys to counteract with the smaller, high flyers.  (Think of him as this side’s version of Kane, though there will be no surprise upset) My only hope is that since Jack Swagger’s manager Zeb Coulter is also aligning himself with Antonio Cesaro now, this might give him a chance to turn good in this match.   An anti-American Swagger did not work, obviously, but imagine the reception this guy could get as a face.   You know, years back Jack Swagger was in the corner of Michael Cole at Wrestlemania and I fully expected Swagger to turn on Cole, launching him into a huge babyface push that never quite took off.   So while I do hope that this match will help change the direction of Swagger’s career (or at least give him some direction), I’m not too hopeful given the WWE track record with him.

(6) Fandango – Regardless of what anyone may believe, Fandango is not really ready to become World Champion at this point in his short lived career.  That doesn’t mean WWE won’t put the title on him, but there isn’t really a big upside to having Fandango as champion now versus, say, in a year from now.  In some ways, guys really need to lose a MITB match before they can win one.   Just ask Kofi Kingston (Remember him?)  I could see Fandango taking part in a good midlevel feud coming out of MITB and then if his character really can stick, he can look into becoming the champion down the road. 

                 Isn’t it odd how not that long ago the speculation was Fandango becoming IC Champion and now he’s in the World Title picture?   What if Fandango had not gotten injured and pulled from the triple threat IC Title match?  Would Curtis Axel instead be in this match and Fandango be the current IC Champion?  One has to wonder. 

(5) Wade Barrett – I don’t know what it is about Wade Barrett that people like (or like to hate when he’s a heel) but to me this guy had the peak of his career when he first came into WWE as the leader of Nexus.  He had all the cards in his favor, yet somehow fell into a sinkhole since that time.  If Wade Barrett was ever posed to become a major champion, that would have been the time to do it.   Right now, Wade Barrett becoming World Champion accomplishes nothing.   Sure, Barrett is stagnant in his career and this might push him into a direction that makes him seem, I don’t know, better, but what can really happen here?   Let’s say Dolph Ziggler eventually gets the World Title back as a face, and then the heel Barrett cashes in on him and just destroys him like a monster would.   Okay, that’d be kind of cool and make Barrett look threatening in some ways, but where would they go from there?  I guess Ziggler and Del Rio could work a program while Barrett defended the title against Randy Orton or Sheamus or someone, but, um… I don’t know.  When has the World Title ever really had meaning in WWE anyway?  Most of the time it’s just there to float around and you tend to forget about it anyway, so maybe it is a good title for Barrett after all.   But I’m not really expecting Wade Barrett to win MITB this time because I think he needs to do some major career overhauling if he’s ever going to become champion.  He needs to be a character that people are invested in. 

(4) Antonio Cesaro – What a coup it would be if the Cesaro and Jack Swagger were climbing the ladder and Zeb Coulter helped Cesaro win the MITB  briefcase.   Even without being World Champion yet, Cesaro would already have a feud set up with Swagger, where Zeb could say that Swagger let him down and he let America down.   This could play out well with the Swagger face turn and go back to where WWE seems to want to go with the idea that “foreigner = heel”.  The only thing is that, um, Antonio Cesaro doesn’t really need to win MITB to make this feud happen.  In fact, this seems like a much better feud that could play out for whatever reason without the World Title/MITB briefcase being a part of it.  Yeah, these two guys could cancel each other, leaving the spot open for someone else to seize.  I’d love to see Antonio Cesaro as World Champion.  He has all the qualities one needs, including stand out matches with Randy Orton.   I’m just not sure if now is his time or if he does get a Zeb Coulter backed push now if it will end up any differently than Swagger at Wrestlemania. 

                Realistically, Jack Swagger needs to regroup but so does Antonio Cesaro.  If WWE is serious about bringing glory days back to the tag division, Antonio Cesaro needs Chris Hero.  Weren’t they signed together for a reason, WWE?  

Five Reasons Why WWE and Samoa Joe Need Each Other

                One of the biggest names associated with wrestling that has yet to enter WWE (for real) is undoubtedly Samoa Joe.   A lot of the reasons why I feel Samoa Joe would be a good fit for WWE work just as well for both sides.   So, here they are, for both parties, mutually beneficial. 

1)      TNA is Misusing Samoa Joe

                Really, since his string of matches with Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe doesn’t seem like he’s had that big feel in TNA.   It’s funny how when you look at WWE, you can see former champions that are big men being put into positions like Joe is in TNA, yet somehow, in WWE they seem less lame.  

                One example that comes right to mind is Kane.   Kane came into WWE as an unstoppable force, out to destroy The Undertaker, and even though he’s lost a lot of his thunder since his debut, he still has a place on the card where he can be seen as not only a threat but also a vital part of the roster. 

                As far as being a former champion goes, Samoa Joe is being used less in TNA such as someone like Kane in WWE and more like The Great Khali, who recently lost to Heath Slater.

                Bottom line: Kane & Daniel Bryan > Samoa Joe & Magnus, so Joe is on the wrong side.

2)      Samoa Joe Has Nothing Left to Prove in TNA

                While many people can argue that this would be just as true with WWE (After a while, he’d have nothing left to prove there), I might direct your attention to one Chris Jericho.   Jericho has done everything in his wrestling career.  He has nothing left to prove in WWE, yet he comes back.  So even if Samoa Joe reached the point in WWE that he is in now with TNA, I could still see him coming back and doing more because he wouldn’t have done everything in WWE for maybe five to ten years.

3)      New Match Ups

                Samoa Joe has faced seemingly everyone in TNA.   WWE is running out of fresh ideas for matches so they should always be looking to bring in new talent.   Samoa Joe meeting some of his indie friends would be great, as we could see him face Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Chris Hero and Daniel Bryan.   Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk could main event Wrestlemania and Summerslam.    At this point in time, even Samoa Joe vs. Kane seems somewhat appealing.   And that doesn’t go without saying Samoa Joe vs. Randy Orton, Sheamus, Wade Barrett, Sin Cara, The Miz (I’d like to see him destroyed), John Cena, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and the list can just go on and on.   If presented correctly, Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar could also be a huge money match.

4)      WWE Wasn’t Ready for Samoa Joe Before, They are Now

                When you think of WWE, you think of the cookie cutter mold of wrestlers/wrestling that is, basically, Batista.   But WWE isn’t a bunch of Batista clones running around anymore (Stay gone, Mason Ryan!)   CM Punk has climbed to the top.   Daniel Bryan is on his way there.  Samoa Joe would be a perfect fit now more than ever before.

5)      WWE Needs to Do Something Huge Again and Joe Could Be It

                In this day and age, everyone seems to know everything about everything… except RVD being announced to come back to WWE.   That seemed to stay away from the internet, right?  So if Samoa Joe stays off of Twitter for a little while and no one leaks anything, Samoa Joe could be a huge surprise.  I’m fairly certain that TNA doesn’t have no compete clauses either, so realistically, Samoa Joe could be on a TNA show one night and in WWE the next night.  This could work perfectly if Joe was part of a TNA pay-per-view on Sunday then on Raw Monday night, but I’d rather see Samoa Joe debut at a pay-per-view and I’ve always wanted it to be the Royal Rumble.

                What would happen if Samoa Joe debuted in the 2014 Royal Rumble?   What if he not only debuted then, but he won the Royal Rumble and went on to fight for the title at Wrestlemania 30?   It’d be very easy for WWE to talk up Joe as a path of destruction because he could destroy entire factions on his own, or even just kill Ryback.  And people who are familiar with him would know he was stagnant in TNA, but hopefully also accept that he is capable of so much more than that.   He could even be played up as finally being released from his cage.

                So let Joe skip developmental.   Put him into the mix right away and change the face of wrestling forever again.    We all know both WWE and Samoa Joe need this. 

It's Totally Extreme, Brah // WWE Extreme Rules 2013 Predictions

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Ryback (Last Man Standing Match for the Title)

                The only gimmick I can’t stand more than Fandango right now is Ryback.  This guy has never done anything good, couldn’t win the title as a face, so now they’ve turned him heel in the worst of possible scenarios.   On top of that, his new heel catchphrase of “Ryback Rules” was clearly stolen from “Billy Madison”.   Does this match matter even?   Is WWE just giving John Cena a night off until they can come up with a better contender?  But that’s just the point—who else is there for Cena?  Big Show?  Jack Swagger?  Randy Orton? Mark Henry?  Zach Ryder?  That kid in the third row in an old Cena shirt because his parents paid for pay-per-view tickets so they can’t afford the new Cena shirt?

Winner: John Cena, because he is a machine and Ryback is a third gimmick loser.   Does it matter how he wins?  Ryback should gas out after ten minutes. 

Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H (Steel Cage Match)

                Since coming back to WWE, Brock Lesnar has lost once to John Cena and twice to HHH.   Yes, Brock Lesnar is the biggest, baddest, most office destroying monster on the planet… who is 0-3 and if he was in UFC still he’d be released from his contract by now.    HHH needs to go do the corporate thing, yet he just cannot seem to go away.   Why do they keep bringing back the face of WWE (HHH) to defeat what they feel is the face of UFC (Lesnar)?   In four matches since his return, Brock Lesnar will have had three of them against the same opponent.  Wouldn’t it be better for business for him to have, you know, a new opponent?   At this point in time, Brock Lesnar has already lost to HHH twice.   This would be the rubber match, except Lesnar doesn’t have a win against HHH.  If Lesnar wins, HHH can still say, “Yeah, but I’m still 2-1 against you, so I win the series”, so really what is the point of this match?

Winner:  HHH sets Brock Lesnar up for the Pedigree and win.   Just then, the ring cuts open (This match be last) and out comes Randy Couture to make the save.   Lesnar gets the pin and finally the win.   Randy Couture brags about being in a movie with Batista. 

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger (#1 Contender to the World Title / I Quit Match)

                These two guys had a match at Wrestlemania.   And no one cared.  Jack Swagger lost, though it seemed like he was being pushed to win.   Then Dolph Ziggler cashed in his Money in the Bank contract, won the World Heavyweight Title and then suffered a concussion which got him pulled from the threeway ladder match they had been building toward.   So mainly, we’re looking at a second match when we could have just been done this feud by now.   Does it matter who wins this?  Will the loser still somehow get back into the match and give us the promised threeway once Dolph is better?   I bet so.

Winner:  Jack Swagger has Alberto Del Rio defeated.   In his native tongue of Spanish, Del Rio says he quits.   Though he technically doesn’t say “I Quit” in English, so the match continues until Jack Swagger kills the referee, Ricardo Rodriguez, Zeb Coulter and the entire Spanish announce team.   No contest because they do have a schedule to keep.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus (Strap Match)

                The only thing that could be worse than this would be if instead of a “Strap Match”, this for some reason was a “Strip Match”.   Mark Henry is pissed, but he’s not really winning since making his comeback.   Sheamus is just drifting along until the future becomes today.  

Winner:  Mark Henry with the help of his Hand-Son with Mae Young (Russo Swerve Surprise Attack!)

Big Show vs. Randy Orton (Extreme Rules Match)

                I’m not sure which is worse:  Having no stipulation when the pay-per-view is supposed to be without rules or having your stipulation being the name of the pay-per-view.   Here are two wrestlers that WWE has no idea what to do with.   They’ve run out of opponents and even facing each other still seems pointless.   Big Show goes from this terrifying monster heel (not really) to a fun loving face, but either way he’s usually on the losing end of the match and has had no real direction in his character since he debuted some odd years ago.     On the same side, we have Randy Orton… I read this comparison once about Chris Benoit, and I think it was the mighty Derek Burgan who said it, but forgive me for paraphrasing when Burgan said that Benoit was “on a treadmill to nowhere”.   I feel like Randy Orton isn’t even moving on a treadmill but rather is waiting in line at the DMV or something worse.   The career of Randy Orton has simply stalled.

Winner:  Let’s say Big Show, so he can keep some heel heat and maybe lead us into another pointless Big Show vs. ADR feud if Jack Swagger wins the #1 Contender match.  (Which I don’t predict he will, but who knows how WWE thinks, right?  It’s WWE, it doesn’t have to make sense)

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

                I don’t get Fandango and I don’t care.   This match happened at Wrestlemania and now Chris Jericho has stuck around to further try and develop a star who may or may not ever get off the ground.   Worst of all, this match doesn’t even have a stupid stipulation.   If Chris Jericho is going away to tour with Fozzy, then it makes no sense for him to win this match.  Though that’s what I said for the Wrestlemania predictions.    But it doesn’t make sense that Chris Jericho is working with a guy who won a show that no one watched, didn’t get his tag team title shot and then poured milk over his head when no one cared, all the while Antonio Cesaro goes unnoticed. 

Winner:  Chris Jericho so Fandango can just go.

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No vs. The Shield (Texas Tornado / Tag Title Match)

                Wouldn’t it be awesome if all three members of The Shield, who are more or less undefeated (They win more than lose, which is more than I can say for most in WWE) were to hold gold?  I think this would be the time to do that because not only are The Shield hot but it’s time for Kane and Daniel Bryan to go their separate ways.

Winners:  Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins are not having their debut action figures released together while Dean Ambrose has his alone by coincidence.   The Shield will all wear gold by the end of this pay-per-view. 

U.S. Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose (U.S. Title Match)

                Why doesn’t this have a special stipulation?  Probably because everyone knows that Kofi Kingston will lose, so why much things up by making it a ladder match or something else.  When people complained that Antonio Cesaro seemingly lost the U.S. Title randomly to Kofi Kingston (who has a winning and losing streak in WWE), now they realize it was only done to put the title on another heel, as Cesaro vs. Ambrose wouldn’t have made sense.  Much like Jay Briscoe, Kofi Kingston is a transitional champion… sigh, again.

Winner:  If this goes on before the tag title match- and it should because Kofi wasn’t even on the Wrestlemania card this year- I expect the rest of The Shield to get involved.   They may not actually knock Kofi out or anything, but they could at least distract him to help give Dean Ambrose the win.   Either way, Ambrose is going over and then a pissed off Antonio Cesaro is coming out to fight for the U.S. Title.   When The Shield gang up on him, we get a debuting Chris Hero and the Kings of Wrestling are reborn because WWE wants to re-establish their tag team division, right?

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

                This match has been restricted to the pre-show and given no real stipulation.  Should anyone care about it when both wrestlers involved are often on the winning or losing end?  It’s become so interchangeable that I doubt either man picking up a victory puts them in line toward… not being a jobber?

Winner:  When Damien Sandow tries to interfere on behalf of Cody Rhodes, John Morrison makes his surprise return to WWE to help out The Miz.   Teddy Long predictably makes a tag team match for Extreme Rules and the PPV is looking like it could be full of surprises.

From This PPV We Are Missing:  The recently returned Sin Cara, The IC Champion Wade Barrett, Antonio Cesaro, R-Truth, Justin Gabriel, 3MB and JTG.   No one will miss Brodus Clay & A-Train, Khali or the women’s division.

Wrestlemania 29 Prediction: Brock Lesnar vs. HHH (No DQ / If HHH loses, he must retire)

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH (No DQ / If HHH loses, he must retire)

                There are two fairly obvious sides to this coin.   You can either take the “HHH will lose so he can go behind the scenes” side or the “HHH can’t lose because he still has enough good matches left in him to not retire”.    Either way, you end up at the same point and that is the mere fact that even if Brock Lesnar does win this match and put HHH in retirement… Well, I mean, HHH put Mick Foley in retirement once.    Shawn Michaels retired Ric Flair, who still wrestles.    So the real question for this match is whether or not you actually believe that HHH will stay retired. 

                Once upon a time, HHH challenged The Undertaker at Wrestlemania and hoped to beat him—twice.   HHH lost both times and after the second time, he came out on Raw and gave this speech that seemed like he was retiring and no one really seemed to care about it.    Adding this stipulation feels like a way to clarify that, yes, this will actually be HHH’s last match.  Why?  Well, let me tell you why.

                Brock Lesnar has had two matches since being back in WWE: Against HHH and John Cena.   He has lost them both.  If he loses this match it means he has come back to WWE to lose three matches in a row.  Kind of makes his character look weak in the grand scheme of things.  

                I was also thinking up some scenario where Shawn Michaels turned on HHH, cost him the match and then said he put him into retirement “for his own good”, but let’s hope that doesn’t play out because that could get messy with HBK being in retirement for real.

                I also expected that maybe HHH would lose in such a fashion that he’d come back and taunt Brock until he could be let out of retirement.   It’d be kind of like that time John Cena was fired from WWE by Nexus leader Wade Barrett for some reason.   But that also seems like a dumb idea.

                I think these two have to throw everything they can at each other and in the end, Brock Lesnar wins and HHH goes home to run things behind the scenes.   Shawn Michaels still probably has matches left in him, so saying HHH does isn’t really a valid point.   Besides, maybe in five years no one will remember and HHH can come out of retirement and fight again.

                Of course you realize I am joking (Russo Swerve) because there is no way that HHH is missing Wrestlemania 30.   HBK gives Paul Heyman sweet chin music and HHH manages to defeat Brock Lesnar, yes, giving Lesnar his third straight loss.   (Hey, Ryback is in a similar situation.  You never think he’s going to lose, but the dude just keeps on losing)    Why does Lesnar get a third straight loss?  For abruptly leaving WWE and then suing them for a really long time and a large amount of money of course.   Plus, you know, WWE > UFC and all that nonsense as well. 

                After this match, HHH will go back into semi-retirement any way and wait till next year to show his face again, while Brock Lesnar will hopefully (if he stays with WWE) destroy some of the regular roster to prove his dominance once again.   Lesnar vs. Punk?   Maybe.  Lesnar vs. Sheamus?  Lesnar vs. Ryback?  Lesnar vs. Alberto Del Rio?   Lesnar vs. Jack Swagger?   Let’s do it!

My Winner:  HHH, because only The Game can say when it is over.