Friday, November 22, 2013

A Sort of Means of Survival: WWE Survivor Series 2013 Predictions

                It saddens me deeply that Survivor Series isn’t all elimination matches.  Clearly that card could have been made by combining some of these matches.  It has always been a great opportunity for someone to pin a champion and be seen differently for it.   Imagine if Dean Ambrose pinned John Cena.   But alas, it will not be seen this year.

                Also, I remember one year when an elimination match got bumped to the next night on Raw.  That was kind of funny.

                As of right now, we have six matches scheduled and one of them is on the pre-show.   So for sake of throwing everyone onto the show, I’m going to say we get an added bonus elimination match with:

Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston, Dolph Ziggler, Xavier Woods, R-Truth and The Great Khali vs. Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow and 3MB

                This might seem awkward because Big E and Dolph were once friends as heels, then enemies and now they seem to want to be on the same side again.   Let’s keep this simple if it does happen though.  Big E eliminates 3MB with the help of Khali, but then Curtis Axel gets a cheap pin on Langston, continuing their IC Title program. 

                Sandow and Axel are left to fight in a two on four match up.  Axel works over Ziggler, who eventually makes the hot tag.  The team of Woods and Truth (Truthwood?) proves to be too much and Sandow is eliminated.  

                Curtis Axel falls to the numbers game, leaving everyone on the good side surviving except for Big E. Langston.   They all proceed to dance afterwards, to the joy of no one.   This will hopefully set up Big E Langston into an IC Title program with not only Curtis Axel, but Dolph Ziggler and Damien Sandow as well.   It feels like it’s been too long since we’ve seen a good triple threat or four corners elimination style match for a secondary title.

[Please Note: After I fantasy booked this match, WWE announced an IC Title match between Big E. Langston and Curtis Axel.   Big E isn’t dropping the title this quickly, but let’s say they’re replaced here with Santino on the face side and Fandango on the heel side.]


<The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston>

                This will serve as a pre-show match, but it shouldn’t even really be on the card yet.  The Miz just turned back to a heel on Monday night and is out to prove his turn worthy by taking down his former tag team partner (and I use that term loosely) in Kofi Kingston. 

                Normally, Kingston finds himself on the panel in the pre-show, so whoever he pissed off is probably thinking he should be happy just to be wrestling.   Miz uses cheat tactics and manages to win this one, convincing no one to order the pay-per-view who wasn’t going to order it already.

                Miz really needs to do something big here, and I don’t mean bring back Alex Riley.  Miz needs a big heel move here or else he’s just going to go back to superstars limbo, which I think is most likely going to happen anyway.

Winner: The Miz via shenanigans


< Total Divas vs. Non-Total Divas (7 on 7 elimination match)>

                First off, who knew that WWE had 14 divas on their roster?  They probably have more, because Summer Rae might not be in this match, but I don’t really care who is on either side because this match is on the card for only two reasons.

                Not only will this serve as a way to promote the Total Divas show (which is why that team will inevitably win), but this should be the filler between the two main title matches. 

                With Mickie James being interviewed about a possible return by WWE.com, TNA really needs to re-evaluate their roster of women because I’m not sure if they even have a total of four right now.

                And when is the TNA reality series “Total Knockouts” coming anyway?

Winners: The cast of Total Divas because, you know, they have a reality show to promote


<Goldust, Cody Rhodes, The Usos and Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield and The Real Americans (Survivor Series style elimination match)>

                The do enjoy the idea of putting together these tag teams that have issues, but it feels like Rey Mysterio was only thrown in here because it’s a lot lighter of a workload than, say, a two on two tag match.
 
                As of late, The Shield has been taking some beatings and I think that they need to turn that around in this match.    In fact, having The Shield as a trio in this and The Real Americans as a tag team seems to serve their purposes better than, you know, having Rey Mysterio thrown into the mix at the eleventh hour.

                I’m hoping for a heel win in this one and see maybe only one or both of The Real Americans being eliminated from the winning side.  Using double and triple team tactics, the heels should have no problems pulling this one out and leaving discussion over whether Rollins and Reigns or The Real Americans should get the next tag team title shot.

Winners: The Shield and The Real Americans because BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!


<CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (w/ Bray Wyatt)>
                In one of the more compelling stories (and by that I mean the only really compelling story) in WWE right now, we see two similar men fighting against a somewhat new faction in what just intriguing on so many levels you don’t feel as if WWE could be behind it.

                CM Punk was once on the road back to a WWE Title shot, but then he was sidetracked by Paul Heyman and company, a feud which for now seems to be settled.   Daniel Bryan was most recently WWE Champion before being screwed over by The Authority and Big Show taking his spot for seemingly no reason, but hey, this match will be a lot better than Orton vs. Bryan 8.

                On the other hand, we have the Wyatts who are one of the most interesting aspects of WWE since the debut of The Shield and, yes, I’d still like to see that Shleld-Wyatts feud WWE hinted at recently. 

                In some ways, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are sort of a super tag team, like when Shawn Michaels teamed with Stone Cold, except these two are getting along.   I think this tag team title only helps the tag team division and ultimately all five men involved in it.

                This is the match I look most forward to on this card and it most likely be the best match as well. 

                The question is not where does it go, but rather where do we go from here?   Easily enough, The Wyatts can lose (Even if just by a DQ from outside interference by Bray) because The Wyatts have, oddly enough, lost tag team matches before, though when you think about them you don’t really think of them as losers.  (Much like how Prime Time Players and The Usos have actually won matches, but you don’t think of either of those teams as winners)

                I believe Daniel Bryan will go back into the WWE Title picture after he ends this feud and consequently Big Show ends his mess with Orton.   Big Show could even move into a program with HHH that no one would give two shits about.

                So since WWE likes to mess with Daniel Bryan, let’s say this for right now.  I’m predicting Daniel Bryan to regain the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble next year from Randy Orton (It’s only two pay-per-views away)    Then, I predict CM Punk to win the Royal Rumble match itself.

                This will set up a nice sort of celebration for the following night on Raw for Daniel Bryan, only to be interrupted by CM Punk who chooses to face Bryan at WM30, or as I like to call it WMXXX.

                John Cena can still defend the WHC against Randy Orton or whoever probably wins an Elimination Chamber match, though after the Rumble we can expect Bryan to defend the title in an Elimination Chamber match against Kane, Orton, Big Show and maybe even RVD will be back by then. 
Winners: CM Punk and Daniel Bryan


<John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Match)>

                John Cena returned at the last pay-per-view and won the WHC from ADR.   And then, he also successfully defended it when Damien Sandow cashed in his MITB briefcase.   So if you think for one split second that this match has been booked so ADR can win the title back, you’d be wrong.

                I have to see this one going to DQ though, as I don’t see any clear winner being presented here thus furthering the feud.   My biggest problem is that if ADR is challenging John Cena still for the rest of the year, then who will step up and do so?

                Well, who is in contention for the WHC anyway?   The recently returned Rey Mysterio?   No, WWE would be much more likely to book a heel against Cena.   Damien Sandow?  Probably not again yet.    Brock Lesnar or Matt Morgan?  Don’t hold your breath.

                John Cena will probably just float along until Wrestlemania, having no real competition and if anyone can do so, I trust the writers at WWE to have a program between Cena and Del Rio take us all the way until this time next year for no good reason.

Winner: John Cena, but the feud must continue!


<Randy Orton vs. Big Show (WWE Championship Match)>

                In one of the most bizarre turns in WWE history, this feud with Randy Orton being The Authority’s Champion originally started with Daniel Bryan going for the gold and, well, he has yet to really be defeated cleanly by Orton.  

                So Big Show somehow comes into this, like a side project, but manages to take over the lead.   I don’t think that Show will become WWE Champion and I only see his involvement in this as a way to delay the eventual Orton-Bryan match. 

                Between Kane, Stephanie and HHH, I don’t see Big Show being able to overcome the odds and win this one.   Plus, Big Show’s best career moments were ten years ago so there is really no need in putting the belt on him at this point.   This really serves no other purpose than having Randy Orton trying to build credibility by saying he beat a giant, but come on, everyone beats Big Show these days.  Ryback almost beat him!  Ryback!!

                So I assume we see this Randy Orton/Authority storyline play out for the rest of the year with Daniel Bryan, who will eventually have to win the Royal Rumble to get his title shot (maybe) but who knows.   John Cena as WHC vs. Randy Orton as WWE Champion would be the best bet for both of those men at WM30 as of right now, so let’s see if maybe we can somehow get to that instead.

Winner:  Randy Orton because… you know why


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