Monday, February 23, 2015

REVIEW: CZW Sixteen (streamCZW.com) [2/21/15]


Wow.   CZW is sixteen years old.   That's kind of... I don't want to think about it really because it just makes me feel old, but congrats to them and all that.

The show opened with the introduction of Danny Havoc, who has been out for a while with injury.   I said it in my review of "To Live is To Die" and I'll say it again-- if you haven't been following CZW regularly and are tuning in for the first time in five years, ten years or ever, the commentators are there to walk you through what you've missed without insulting the intelligence of the fans who have actually been paying attention.

Danny Havoc, who I vaguely remember from when I was watching CZW regularly, talked about his injury and how he basically has a protege now who goes by Conor Claxton.   There is this whole series on the CZW web site you can watch called "Dojo Wars" and it has the young up and comers featured.    You have to pay, but it doesn't cost as much as the main roster shows.    For some reason it just makes me feel like I wish that WCW had done something similar back in the day with their Power Plant.    And, yes, that was kind of a dig that someone in CZW is smarter than someone in WCW (I assume Eric Bischoff) but we're on the Sixteenth Anniversary show here so I'm not really telling you anything you didn't already know.

Havoc said that he's ready for Claxton to prove himself so he's putting him in a series of death matches because this is CZW after all and his first opponent will be Lucky 13.    Seems like an interesting set up for sure and even if you have no idea who any of these guys are the words "death" and "match" should capture your interest.   Havoc also said there'd be a special ultraviolent match after the main event tonight but I'm assuming it won't be on the actual PPV stream and would rather be what the kids call "the dark main event".


Match One: Pepper Parks (w/ Cherry Bomb) vs. Buxx Belmar

A lot of the commentary on this- and even the  psychology in the match itself- came from the fact that Cherry Bomb is this pure and clean being while Buxx Belmar is filthy and as such the two should not touch.    Pepper Parks played up being afraid of touching the dirty Belmar, but most people play that up so that didn't have the same effect as Belmar chasing and taunting Cherry Bomb.

On a side note to this match: I tried to watch this pay-per-view once (At least I think it was originally on PPV) and I'll call them out by name, why not, because this is the only way they'll ever be "reviewed".   It was PWS and it was a women only card and someone (maybe them, maybe not) has it uploaded in its entirety for free on YouTube so I watched the first two matches and then shut it off.   That's one of the only ways (Aside from last month's CZW PPV) I really know who Cherry Bomb is, though I see her name around within a lot of the legitimate women wrestling promotions that I always want to dive into but never know quite where to begin.  (One day, I will buy Shine 1, I swear)

Oh, so that PWS "Bombshells" show or whatever it was called just felt rather sexist to me and yes I am saying that about a professional wrestling event where often times men are portrayed as being greater than women anyway.   One example I remember was a wrestler getting hit in the crotch and the commentator said something about her getting hit in the "snatch" and I just thought, "Yeah, but you wouldn't be using such terms if it was a guy" because how many times have you heard that a guy got hit in his dong or other names for the penis?   Plus I was just really sick of the commentators constantly saying how hot they thought the women were-- it took away from the match itself.   And as I'm taking away from this match by mentioning this Cherry Bomb relation I shall get back to the CZW now.

Pepper Parks is beginning to grow on me as a character.   I've only ever heard of him in name before my renewed interest in CZW this year, but his character is interesting enough and he has the athleticism to back it up.  I also like that he has a signature move called the "Pepper Shaker".     So this was a kind of back and forth match that had some very close near falls by Parks.     By the end, Buxx somehow got Cherry Bomb alone in the ring, took her shoes off and shoved her toes into his mouth as the crowd chanted "You sick fuck!" at him.    This might seem a little too obvious somehow, but why didn't Cherry Bomb just kick him in the face?   Was I the only one yelling "Kick him!" at my television during that part?

From sucking on toes to getting the pin, this match was good for Buxx Belmar and actually a nice opening to the show as you didn't need any background on the characters to know what was going on as the story told itself.    If I didn't say it during "To Live is To Die", can I know mention that Buxx dresses and paints his face like N8 H8TRED?   Is there any connection there?


Match Two: Sozio vs. Joey Janela 

Joey Janela is from the Dojo as well.   Sozio lost a title shot against BLK JEEZ last month and even got hung from the ring ropes, which the commentators did an excellent job of reminding us about.    So my question right now- and this might seem like a dumb question- but what am  I supposed to be doing between CZW PPVs?   Is there a television series every week on their website like ROH?   Do I just follow along on their website with results from non-televised events?    I did pay attention to the card going into this and the commentators made mention of Sozio's mean streak since losing at "To Live is To Die", but this match is also a Best of the Best Qualifying match (the first one was as well, I realize now that I forgot to mention that in there because I got side tracked)   Not everyone is going to be in the Best of the Best tournament, I assume, so what did Sozio do to get a shot to be involved?   You know, other than losing a title match last month.

Sozio works hard.   He seems like a lot of his chops are stiff.   Joey Janela didn't really strike me as anything too special when the match first started, as he looks like he could be a jobber somewhere else, but the fact of the matter is he took a high risk move to the outside in this match that I'm not going to describe for you because you need to watch this for yourself and then later you can send me your emails and say, "Yeah, you were right, thank you".     In a surprising turn of events, Joey Janela actually managed to get the win here but it did come from a little help from The Front, which is stable that Sozio used to be the leader of but he no longer is.    Once again, hats off to the commentators for explaining all of that.

So thus far we have Buxx Belmar and Joey Janela in the Best of the Best Tournament.   Could this be Buxx's year??  This dirty kid is kind of growing on me.


Next up was an in ring interview with Alex Colon where he was asked about breaking Preacher's neck.   In typical cocky heel fashion, Colon denied any responsibility and issued an open challenge answered by... Drew Gulak!!

Match Three: Alex Colon vs. Drew Gulak

This was just a beating.   I remember Gulak coming out at "To Live is To Die" and issuing a beat down but this was just a whole other level of beating someone down.    Off the top of my head, I'm struggling to think of anyone else who has had this type of impact for coming out and just kicking someone's ass.   I'm sure there's someone out there either currently or in the past, but I just can't think of them off hand.    Baron Corbin in NXT isn't quite the same as this.    Samoa Joe was never quite the same as this.   Perhaps the closest thing I can think of is Awesome Kong now that she's back in TNA, but that might not be completely accurate either.    Drew Gulak is just in a league of his own and I would love to see this guy wear gold in 2015.    (No disrespect intended to BLK JEEZ, but I'd love to see Gulak vs. Joe Gacy)

Have we determined whether or not Alex is part of the Famous Fighting Colon Family?  You know, Carlito and all that?   No?  Didn't think so.


Match Four: "Bulldozer" Matt Tremont vs. Stockade *Ultraviolent Match*

This match was set up at "To Live is To Die" and I actually like the idea of these two guys going at it.    Matt Tremont brought some barbed wire down with him.     This did not work to his advantage.   These two fought around the ring, inside and out, and as much as I'd like to say it was a well contested battle between both me Stockade just put the whoopin' on Tremont.     It almost felt like Stockade dominated especially because he came out of the match seemingly unscarred where as Tremont was a bloody mess.

I remember at one point during the match there was an attempted pin fall and the ref broke it up because there was a foot in the rope.   One of the commentators mentioned that since this was an ultraviolent match there should not be a break for the foot in the rope, but does that mean ultrviolent matches are also falls count anywhere?   I was under the impression you still had to pin them in the ring.

Following the match, after Stockade had gone to the back, Matt Tremont issued the challenge/booked the match for the March PPV, 'Deja Vu" of Stockade vs. Matt Tremont in a no rope barbed wire match.   Yeah, my three year old won't be watching that one with me.


Intermission was up next and though there were some songs there were also clips of an interview with BLK JEEZ which is from what I assume is a DVD available from CZWrestling.com in some sort of shoot series.    I don't care what anyone says, Blink 182's "Dude Ranch" is still a solid album after all these years.


After intermission Tim Donst was announced and he basically explained his situation which I had read about earlier.     Aside from his appearance at "To Live is To Die" I remember Tim Donst as that kid in amateur wrestling gear in Chikara and now there's a chance he might never be able to wrestle again?   It's just a horrible situation that I hope somehow works itself out and Tim Donst is able to continue his in ring career.


Match Five: "Speedball" Mike Bailey vs. "Chainsaw" Joe Gacy *CZW Wired Championship Match*

Interestingly enough, Tim Donst is sitting in on commentary and after his confrontation with Joe Gacy last month I'm wondering if this is all just some wonderful work.    It's most likely not, but wouldn't it be something if Donst attacked Gacy after the match?

Okay, so that didn't happen.   This isn't fantasy.   It's reality.   And reality just sucks sometimes.

This was actually a really good match because Mike Bailey is quick and he has rapid fire kicks that can seemingly hurt.    When I see Joe Gacy I think of this guy who is big and can use his size to his advantage obviously, but he also can move well for a big man and that makes him that much more dangerous.    Yes, Joe Gacy remains my favorite part of CZW.    But you have a viable factor in Mike Bailey being able to use those kicks to chop down Gacy and his speed can also perhaps out-manuever Gacy so as to give him an advantage.

Really that's all well and good on paper, and as you think about it during this match, but would it be unfair to Bailey to say that in this match Joe Gacy squashed him like a bug?    Joe Gacy just continues to prove why he is not only my favorite wrestler in CZW but one of my overall favorite wrestlers right now.  Wow.  Just wow.   You should be watching CZW if only to see "Chainsaw" Joe Gacy.

Oddly enough, the commentators noted something that I didn't know before the match (Take notes: every other commentator ever) and that is that Joe Gacy was on the verge of being fired prior to his turnaround in 2014 which got him to the Wired Championship and basically where he is now.   Storyline or not, the fact that he was once so far down the roster just make where he is now that much more impressive.

During this match, well, when the match started rather, I also thought that if I had a theme song as a professional wrestler I would most likely choose the same Deftones song as Joe Gacy.   (Really, Pepper Parks, that Imagine Dragons song is just ridiculous)   Oh, and Gacy won by submission.


Match Six: The Beaver Boys & Chuck Taylor vs. Team Tremendous & Dick Justice *Tables Elimination Match*

This time around I paid attention and learned that Dan Barry is the smaller of the two guys on Team Tremendous.    Before the match, The Beaver Boys noted that their scheduled tag team partner couldn't be there and so they brought out Chuck Taylor as a sort of member of their family.     The show was coming straight out of New Jersey and as someone who lives in Connecticut (I know, I know, laugh it up) I can tell you that the snow was pretty awful here on Saturday night.   We were heading home when it really started and you'd leave your car for five seconds and it'd be covered in snow again, so yeah, this crowd is hardcore for being there tonight as are all of these wrestlers and everyone else involved because I wouldn't have even gone down the road in the snow, haha.

The commentators made mention at one point of how they wouldn't touch the idea of a joke of Dick Justice being left alone with the Beaver Boys as this was an elimination match and I do thank them for that.    They also referred to Johnny Silver as an "unfrozen caveman wrestler" which had me laugh out loud.

At one point during the match, Dick Justice set up a table in the corner and yelled "I got wood!" to which the crowd replied with a chant of "He's got wood".   But as seems to be the case with wrestlers and their weapons the time it took Dick Justice to set up the table and all only allowed for him to be put through it because, yes, whenever a wrestler has a weapon in wrestling it seems to only ever be used against them.

Chuck Tayor earned his paycheck in this match by taking a sick move through a ladder, which was noted by the commentators that had it been a table he would have been eliminated from the match.    Johnny Silver ended up winning the match as he put Dan Barry through a table by jumping off of a ladder and giving him the double foot stomp.   Ouch.

I know it seems strange to think of Team Tremendous and/or The Beaver Boys as a comedy act since they're in a tables elimination match here, but this match was just a lot of fun.    I'm not sure exactly what these wrestlers should be doing to make them seem like the traditional sense of fun, like Chikara would have, but this was just a whole lot of fun because it had the tables (and ladders) in it.  

Match Seven: BLK JEEZ vs. Chris Dickinson *CZW World Championship Match*

The commentators plugged the BLK JEEZ DVD as being available on DVD and coming soon to streaming.   For the record, Chris Dickinson defeated Buxx Belmar last month who is now in the Best of the Best Tournament while BLK JEEZ defeated Sozio who did not qualify for Best of the Best.     Chris Dickinson looks like Rhyno in his face even though he is the "Dirty Daddy".      Also I feel it is worth noting that it is strange that this is going on before the Tag Team Championship match but I assume that has something to do with the Young Bucks.

Unlike last month when BLK JEEZ pretty much dominated Sozio this was a strong, competitive back and forth match between BLK JEEZ and Chris Dickinson.   I have this notion going into the Tag Team Title match that the Young Bucks won't win because they're more of a special attraction if you will, but there isn't really a reason why Chris Dickinson shouldn't be CZW Champion and a lot of that came into play in this match with several near falls that did have me thinking new champion.

At the end of the day though, BLK JEEZ is still your CZW World Heavyweight Champion after pinning Chris Dickinson.    The real story here came after the match as Chris Dickinson got on the mic and cursed out everyone he could.   He said when he was fighting for the title he got side tracked and BLK JEEZ swept in and took it, so he rightfully should be champion, which the commentators solidified as a valid point.

Dickinson basically told Philly to fuck off and left, but BLK JEEZ picked up the mic as he stormed off and told Dickinson (who was already gone) that nobody insults his city.   BLK JEEZ says he knows about the politics and encouraged fans to buy his shoot DVD at the merch table.     BLK JEEZ then said that at "Deja Vu" they can have a rematch for the title which I guess is why it'd be called "Deja Vu".

It's kind of funny though because there weren't really any questions in my mind about that victory from BLK JEEZ over Chris Dickinson.    There wasn't a cheap roll up or anything that would have made you go, "Yeah, Dickinson had that much won until..." and then something happened that didn't involve BLK JEEZ beating him.   BLK JEEZ won a great back and forth contest and Dickinson just comes off as sour grapes so I don't know if it's in the best interest of BLK JEEZ to give him a rematch (he beat him fair and square)

Giving into that psychology of the challenger has often left the champion without their title so it will be interesting to see what happens with BLK JEEZ at "Deja Vu".    There weren't any gimmicks announced either, which was kind of strange, but these two can deliver without having to be ultraviolent so why not.     I'm confident that BLK JEEZ and Chris Dickinson can put on an even better match at "Deja Vu" and this one was highly entertaining.


Match Eight: Ohio is 4 Killers vs. Young Bucks *CZW Tag Team Championship Match*

There were some "Young Bucks" chants before introductions.   So am I the only one pulling for O!4K then?   The commentators said the Young Bucks were the best tag team in professional wrestling today but I believe reDRagon would have to disagree.    Young Bucks came out to "MmBop" (Yes, really) while the commentators said why some people don't like the Young Bucks.   I really just don't like them because they remind me too much of a Hardy Boyz rip off, so there's that fact which went unmentioned.

This is interesting though because it is a match with both tag teams being brothers, so there is that.    I had to look up why the Young Bucks had gold but apparently they defeated reDRagon for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship on February 11th at an event called "The New Beginning in Osaka" which, yes, I will be watching now and you can possibly expect a review of eventually as well.

At one point, the ref dove outside onto all four men.   When he was trying to celebrate back in the ring all four men came in and gave him a fourway super kick.   The crowd began chanting "This is awesome" and another ref came down.   Not sure why they had that ref spot but it was pretty funny.

One of the Young Bucks hit a standing moonsault as the other flew over the top rope at the same time onto Jake Crist.    That was a nice move but only got a two count.   With Matt Jackson isolated (Nick took a powder), O!4K hit The Killing Spree for the pin and win.  Wow.   I still don't like the Young Bucks but that was one hell of a match.

Fast paced and full of kicks and knees this was perhaps one of the best examples of tag team wrestling today.    I've been struggling a lot lately with the idea of whether or not I like tag team wrestling because I felt a lot of it became too formulaic but there was nothing traditional about that match.

As much as I'm a fan of "Chainsaw" Joe Gacy and as much as I enjoyed the CZW World Title match, the main event delivered one of the best matches of the year so far, on par with anything from Wrestle Kingdom 9 and certainly the best match in CZW so far this year.    Definitely a show worth checking out if you haven't yet as CZW only seems to get better for me.

       On an end note for this month, Ring of Honor recently announced they'd be getting action figures for the first time this year and it kind of makes me wish that CZW had action figures as well.   Series 1, which would consist of six figures in theory, could easily be BLK JEEZ, Joe Gacy, Drew Gulak, Ohio is 4 Killers and let's say a flashback to... Necro Butcher?   Think about it, CZW.  

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